The Pain Behind The Smile...

You lie there in bed in the deep of the night staring at the ceiling. 
The scars, the emotional pain, the self-hatred will not let you find rest. 

You wonder, " How did I get to this place in my life? 
How did I make so many wrong choices?   I feel so inadequate,  so alone. 
How can I see myself the way that God does?  You tell me in Your Word that You knew me in my mothers womb. You tell me that I am special, beautiful and wonderfully made.  You know all the mistakes that I have made, You know how I feel about myself, and yet You say YOU still love me.  

There are so many scars in my life.  Each day I put on this mask of pretense and smiles and I feel as if I am trapped in this superficial life.  I question if YOU really see me, and feel my pain inside.   I am held captive in a life that has gone so wrong.  Yet YOU have come to set me free!  The price you paid on the cross for my sin sets me free!  

You love this broken, unworthy, damaged person that I am.  I can remove this mask and reveal a new person.  I can trade this empty, pain-filled life for one that is filled with Your inner joy and peace!    I believe, I believe Lord, this is all I need...Your love, Your cleansing, Your new life!

When I consider all YOU have done for me... I know that I am wonderfully made.  
When I see darkness, YOU ask me to lay it all aside and come to YOU and find peace. 
When I come to YOU for all that I need, YOU fill me with joy and comfort. 
Here in the middle of my deepest fear, insecurities and life of scars...YOU are here with me. 
Here in the middle of this desert place,  I am not alone. YOU are here with me. 

I need not worry about one single thing,  YOU are here with open arms. 
This captive woman has been set free by the love of Jesus Christ...
​              I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  
​
​